Dating After The Death of A Partner
One of the many overwhelming aspects of being widowed is the thought of dating again. For me, this required two separate support teams: Team One knows me from way back when I was “normal.” They know my strengths and weaknesses, and are present in my everyday life. Team Two- my widow friends who are walking the same freaky path I am. They are not physically present in my daily life but they are readily available to swap stories about the feelings, fears, joys, and crashes of dating after losing the greatest love of my life. The writer in me cannot help but to write their words down. Here are some of the best tidbits we had to offer each other. Feel free chime in with your own experiences or advice.
Getting Back into the Dating World
Making the choice to get back into the dating world is no small task. If you have managed to win the battle with any guilt issues you may be grappling with, you have already taken one of the most difficult steps.
Here are some thoughts on how others before you have managed to navigate the world you are now venturing into:
- There is a certain liberation about knowing you have already survived the unsurvivable. In an existence where silver linings can be tough to find, grab this one. Use the knowledge that you are still upright, breathing, and aware of the fact that life still holds joy in spite of your loss. Enter this new arena with confidence.
- Online sites can be fun. Be advised, however, that a “widow” status does not deter potential suitors. Know that the big “W” on your profile will not buy you time to decide if you really want to proceed with the online experience.
- Hold tight to your sense of humor. You’re going to need it.
- Forgive yourself for any mistakes you make.
- Be candid about your feelings, but avoid the temptation
to use your date as a grief counselor.
- Be honest with your children; how they adjust to you dating again will largely be based on your lead.
- Have fun. Breathe. Take it slowly.
Any feelings of panic or new guilt, confusion, or anger are not unusual – especiallyif you find yourself developing feelings for someone.
You may be judged or receive unsolicited advice. Rise above it.
Have fun. Go for it. You deserve it.